Hello hello hello!

I have something super exciting to share, and that is that...I PRINTED MY BOOK! I've heard about and known of Lulu.com, but I finally kicked myself into gear and sent Rivener (draft 1) to get printed! What actually spurred me to act was that the lovely June shared one of her short stories with me, and I loved it so much I told her I wanted it on my bookshelf, and would she mind if I printed it out? She said yes!

Initially I was just going to do it myself, but then I thought I'd rather have it done with proper book binding, and once I saw how easy it was to do, I decided to do Rivener too! 

Yes, that is hardcover! I splurged because why the heck not. I looooooove it. The quality is impeccable, and the only 'issue' is that I didn't know how to format the manuscript for printing, so the chapters don't all begin on their own page. But the affordability (which I just got an email about them changing due to increased demand for their services, so bear that in mind) was well worth it!  

I almost teared up, holding my book in my hands. My actual hands. ​Mindblowing! I'm going to get all my short story collections and my fable printed next!

My friend and fellow author Hyba is not only writing several books in various genres, all intriguing and varied, she is also writing a thesis! It's on the viability of enhanced fiction ebooks (a fancy way of saying ebooks that make use of multimedia). To complete her study, she really needs people to partake in her survey! It's very quick and not at all technical—anyone who reads using a medium other than physical books can participate! 

I'd really appreciate if you guys could help her out! Plus, by completing the survey, you get to have a free copy of her incredible thriller novella Apartment. Which is honestly such a bargain, that book is amazing. One day I'll share a proper review of it! 

Well, that's all I have for you today! As always, happy reading and writing!

Several months passed where I stopped writing almost entirely but didn't stop thinking about this, and after some more recent chats with Trade and Hyba, I decided to scrap my first rewrite of Rivener (which, if you don't know, I'd been sort of attempting to do) and properly pick up this AU. 

And now it's an actual thing! I've written 6k for it so far over the past couple days, planned a good chunk of it out, and have the writing bug again (such a good feeling, when you just wanna write and write and write, like an itch). It's going fantastically, if I do say so myself. However...

I was (am still? sorta?) a little nervous to share this version of my story (creatively titled Rivener 2.0) because...this Wren is awful. She does awful things and is complicit in awful things. Internet purity culture has me worried about what the response will be to this character who can lightly be described as ~problematic~. She changes, of course. This story is still about two very damaged people healing, the journey they go through together and because of each other. But it's also a lot darker. Or I delve into the darker aspects more.

Wren is not exactly a villain, but she's not a hero either, not for a long while. She is, in fact, closely aligned with the main villain. Not entirely of her own free will, but...well. Some may think she's irredeemable, which is valid. But I think it's rare that people are truly irredeemable. I do believe everyone has the capacity to change, if they want to, if they decided to, if they commit to it and keep trying and learning and unlearning, if they work hard to not repeat their mistakes or the way they've hurt people, if they apologize by word and action.

I don't think anyone is owed forgiveness, but I believe everyone can earn some sort of...grace? I don't know if that's the word I'm looking for, maybe redemption is closer to the mark.  So yeah. Wren will have a pretty significant redemption arc. I hope I can do a good job conveying the complicated person she is, with pretty severe faults but equally admirable qualities and depth to her. Her journey is not easy. She can never erase the things she's done. But I hope you cheer her on as she grows to be a better person, even if she can never fully make up for who she was. I hope you understand where she's coming from, even if it doesn't excuse her actions or beliefs. 

Now this AU is not all about Wren, and Kai too is changed from the original story. Firstly. we're meeting him in vastly different circumstances, when he's arguably a much rawer character? In the original, he'd been enslaved to Cormac for a while by the time he met Wren, and a few years before that he was "stock" on a "farm" (for spoiler reasons, I won't explain what that means).

In this AU, he meets Wren having just been removed from the farm. He's less docile, but at heart, still the same sweet, gentle, traumatized Kai of the original. They have a long way to go before they like each other, given who Wren is and how they meet in this AU. She treats him pretty terribly. Not as terribly as she could've, and not as terribly as others, but...oof. They have an uphill battle ahead of them.

Still! I'm really excited to write this story, difficult (in topics and tone) as it is! I get to explore the world a little bit more, flesh out Cormac a lot more, and write some scenes I always wanted to, which didn't end up having a place in the original! I hope you guys will come along with me on this journey!

Have you ever written or read a character who starts out as awful and slowly transforms for the better (or the reverse)? How did it go? Do you think they managed to become sympathetic or appealing to the reader, despite their faults? Do comment below, or drop me an email, and let me know! I'd love to talk about this!

In the meantime, have an excerpt:

Stay tuned for P.3 of my writing updates, where I will talk about my Glitch wip! Happy reading and writing!

❝ i dreamed about magic and dragons and flying to neverland and i knew if i wanted it hard enough i could go and i dreamed an old, cracking voice softly saying "after thunder, golden showers" and a young, lilting voice singing "and 'round the corner there may wait/a new road or a secret gate/and though i oft have passed them by/a day will come at last when i/shall take the hidden paths that run/west of the moon east of the sun" and there were fireflies i chased laughing in the dark and there was a swarm of mosquitos but they were golden and dancing in the light and they did not bite me and it was magic, magic, and i want it back. ❞

Hello hello, it's been really long while. Am I back? I don't know. I still haven't written any more of my books, but I no longer feel like my writing ability and creative drive is locked in a doorless safe buried far underground, encased in cement, out of my reach. So hopefully!

I do have some updates though:

• the wip I'd temporarily titled Chimken Tendies is now to be referred to as the Glitch wip!
• i put an indefinate pause on redrafting Rivener and instead
• i am planning an AU! It started as a convo with my friend, wondering how Wren and Kai's story would play out if the main antogonist, Cormac, found and took Wren under his wing when she was young. It's a darker story, but one I'm really excited about!

I hope you're all doing well! Comment below and update me on your lives and writing! Ask me questions about my wips! I may not be writing but I'm definitely thinking about my stories all the time. I reply, I promise, just slowly, and I love hearing from you.

Until then,
​Happy reading and writing!

You may or may not know that I'm rewriting Rivener, my post-apocalyptic novella and first original, completed, long-form work! I currently have about 14k in the doc, much of which is new content expanding upon the old. I'm having a lot of fun with it, and I'm excited for all the ways Rivener is gonna improve. I'm not actually changing much of the plot, but more of the structure and characterization to, hopefully, make it a stronger story.

And unfortunately, to do that, I am going to have to delete about 50% of the new words.

A huge part of my brain is having a temper tantrum about this, full out wailing and kicking at the ground and sobbing huge cartoon tears, the works. The other, rational part of my brain is saying, finally. The truth is, I kinda got stuck with Rivener 2.0. I went in a new direction, plot wise, and though it was fun to write, it didn't really serve the story as a whole.

I wrote myself into a corner with it, and then I couldn't find a way out without—to continue the metaphor—having to stomp over the freshly painted area. Which I was loath to do. Alas, I have no choice. I gotta kill my darlings, those darlings being the new words and by extension, the hours of work that went into writing them, which makes me feel like it was a whole lotta wasted time and effort. Boo. But actually, that's just a bad perspective. 

Those words weren't a waste, even though they're gonna be removed. (Strictly speaking, I'm cutting and pasting them into a new document because I may end up using those words in some way elsewhere. Never actually delete your work folks! Hoard them words! You will regret it otherwise!!!) Those words helped me figure out several things, develop my craft, and guide me to the right path to take with the story as a whole! 

And now that I've accepted what I need to do, I can hopefully get myself out of my rut and write on! Exciting!